Do you know if it'd be possible for me to be a surrogate for my older, single brother? I have not had children before and am single, but I'm also not ready for children of my own. My brother desperately wants children. We are very close friends, and I look up to him and KNOW he would be an excellent father!! I am confident I'd have no problems giving up my child to my brother. And I would still be a part of his/her life; just as an aunty instead of a mom. Is this legal and even possible??? We are both mature, professional adults who have been unlucky in finding "the one". He is 35. I am 31.
Reply by Rayven
If you have not had children of your own, then no, you may not become a surrogate mother.
Also, there are a few ways in which you word things in this question that I need to clarify. First, assuming she has already had children, a woman is able to become a GESTATIONAL surrogate for a sibling but she may under no circumstances become a TRADITIONAL surrogate.
If you were to become a surrogate for your brother, assuming that you had already had children, then since your brother is single he would need an egg donor. Then you could carry his child, and the child of the anonymous donor.
You could NOT carry a child that was related to you and him. That would be incest (even if artificial insemination was used).
I'm clarifying this because you say "my" child. A surrogate baby never belongs to the surrogate mother. The babies are not ours; we do not give them up. We simply take care of them until they are ready to go home to their parents, and then we give them back.
I have had a tubal and an ablasion and I desperately would like to have a child with my new husband. Is it possible for his sister to be surrogate for us using my eggs and his sperm?
Reply by Rayven
Yes, this is possible. Since his sister will not be donating her eggs with his sperm, it is not incestuous, just a really nice sister! It is the same, biologically, as a sister carrying a gestational pregnancy for her sister, or a mother carrying for her son or daughter.
This is one of the best situations you could have for surrogacy.
Is it possible to carry my child and my brother's child at once?
My brother and his wife are having problems conceiving. I am considering being a surrogate for them if it ends up that is what is needed. I have never given birth before to my own children.
It ends up that my husband and I are also thinking about getting pregnant. This might be a silly question, but could I carry "twins"? Where one embryo was my brother and his wife's baby and the other one was my husband and my baby? I guess they would be "siblings" and cousins in once.
Really I am wondering though if this is a possibility? Can I carry two children that are created by different parents? Or will it endanger the babies? Would this be something that a doctor would even consider doing?
Reply by Rayven Medically, it is possible. There have been cases of a surrogate mother carrying twins for a gay couple where one baby was the biological child of one partner while the other baby was the biological child of the other partner.
Would a doctor do it? NO
Logistically, this would NEVER happen.
First, you are not eligible to be a surrogate mother until you have had children of your own. Period.
Second, achieving a pregnancy, even if you have been pregnant before, is never a guarantee with IVF. And achieving a twin pregnancy is even less likely.
What would happen if you transferred two embryos, one from each set of parents, and only one took? Then both families would be waiting around on pins and needles for the baby to be born. A DNA test would be done to figure out who the lucky couple that gets to take home the baby would be and the other couple would be devastated.
Then there is the cost to the whole thing. Why on earth would you want to go through an IVF egg retrieval, which is painful physically and financially, when you could most likely conceive on your own?
Any doctor that would consider this type of situation would not be acting in the best interest of his patients.
I hope I'm not sounding too harsh here for you. I'm really just trying to bring to light a couple of the many many reasons why this would be a really bad idea.
can i be a surrogate for my brother using donor eggs and my brothers sperm?
i live in england, my brother lives in canada. he has had many failed relationships and longs for children of his own that no-one can take away from him if a relationship breaks down. can i , using donors eggs legally surrogate for him and can u confirm that i will not be the childs genetic mother.
Reply by Rayven As this website is primarily for those wishing to become intended parents or a surrogate mother in the United States, I am unable to keep up with world-wide laws. As far as whether surrogacy is legal, and under what conditions, you will need to check with attorneys in both the Canadian province your brother is in and the UK.
But if you are using donor eggs, yes, you can be a surrogate mother for your brother without worrying about being the biological mother. The donor of the eggs is the biological mother. The embryos are created and then transferred into your body; they are not created in your body.
My partner and I want to have a baby. We want to use her egg but I would carry the child. I know for some this sounds very odd but we want to know if we used my brother's sperm and my girlfriend's egg. Can we do that? Some people say we can't because it would still have my blood mixing with my brother, but I've heard of sisters being surrogates for their brother.
Reply by Rayven
What you are describing would be no problem at all, and is actually quite common in the lesbian community. (One partner carrying the other's eggs...this way both get a "tie" to the baby)
There is no problem using your brothers sperm and your partner's eggs. The baby would be your biological niece/nephew. This is the exact same situation as a sister lending her eggs for an IVF procedure to another sister. No problem at all.
You are very lucky to have such a wonderful brother.
My brother is gay and wants a child...what would the procedure be?
(los angeles, ca)
I am 28 yrs old and I have had 2 healthy girls....my brother would like to have a donor egg fertilized with a mix of his sperm and his partner so that they wont know who's it is....what would be the procedure for this? I really want to be their surrogate...would an agency be required or can a clinic take care of the fertilization?
Reply by Rayven This would be a gestational surrogacy. You do not have to go through an agency, though you will still need to have an attorney(s). A clinic in your town should be more than able to handle the procedure.
They would retrieve the eggs from the donor and put you on medication to sync your cycle with hers. Once the eggs were retrieved, they would mix them with the sperm from both your brother and his partner, and a few days later would transfer them into your womb.
You would be required to take hormone shots for several weeks/months on a daily basis (self-administered). Once the baby(s) is born, you would give her back to her fathers.
I would caution you that you are already done having your own children. Not only is having at least one child of your own a prerequisite for surrogacy, anything can happen while attempting to help someone else. It would be sad if you lost your ability to have your own children while trying to give a gift to your brother.
My brother and my sister in law are having trouble having a baby. She has had several miscarriages and was diagnosed with Gillian Barret syndrome is is still in her 20's and desperately wants a family. We just recently discovered that she has Endometriosis. I just was not sue of because he was my biological brother is I could be a surrogate for them.
Reply by Rayven
You can be a GESTATIONAL surrogate mother for your brother and his wife, either using her eggs or eggs from an egg donor.
You cannot be a traditional surrogate mother for your brother and his wife, using your own eggs, because then the baby would have you as a biological mother and your brother as a father.
Many sisters have been gestational surrogates for their brothers. What a nice sister you are!