Can I be a surrogate mother even though I am overweight?

by Kathleen (Katy)
(Ridgecrest, Ca, USA)

Hi,
I have tried filling out applications and gone to different websites to become a surrogate mother but have been told, which I already know, I am overweight. I am 5 feet 4 inches and weigh 245. This deeply saddens me. I have had 4 beautiful healthy children. All of them were born with no complications, and all of them are thriving. After I gave birth to my last daughter Autumn I also made the decision to have my tubes tied because I decided my family was complete and my husband and I are happy with our family. Ever since I had my daughter my dream has been to help another couple who cannot have a child of their own. I know that being overweight complications can arise, but the funny thing with me is, is that during pregnancy I watch what I eat and I take care of myself. The most weight I ever put on during pregnancy was 15 pounds. I love being pregnant. I so want to help a couple and give them the gift of a child, but everywhere I go I have read that I am too overweight or don't qualify. I just want to help give a deserving couple their dream of a family, so why am I being turned away?
~Katy

Reply by Rayven

Surrogacy is expensive, and intended parents do not have a guarantee that in the end they will go home with a baby. Some intended parents can only afford to make the attempt one time.

Being overweight complicates surrogacy. Often, women are unable to conceive, or suffer pregnancy complications, miscarriage, or premature birth due to their weight. Would that happen in your case? Its unknown.

And that right there, the unknown part, is why you are being turned down.

I understand that you want to help, and that is a wonderful thing for you to be thinking and feeling, but imagine for just a moment what would happen if you became a surrogate for a couple, and due to being overweight, the baby was born premature, and could not survive. Now imagine that your intended parents did not have the money to try again. Your wonderful deed, your desire to help someone else, could turn into your preventing them from being able to have children.

Now, this is extreme, of course, and probably wouldn't happen....but it could.

Your best option, if you truly desire to become a surrogate mother, is to lose weight and get your body in a healthy height/weight ratio.

Best wishes!