I just took a blood test after my first try at surrogacy, and I am not pregnant. I never had a trouble getting pregnant on my own. Is there anything I can do better next time?
I have a 7 yr. old and a 4 yr. old. I got pregnant the first time I tried with both of them. My IP's tried with another surrogate 4 times and switched to me and a new egg donor. I took all my meds at 7:30 every night. I have been doing everything right...or at least I thought.
I feel like a big failure now. Does this happen a lot? I am 33...am I too old? The doctor said my uterus looked beautiful. The embryo's were perfect. I am so confused!!!! There really isnt a lot of support. Thanks for doing this. I dont know where else to turn. PLEASE HELP!! THANKS!! Katie Felt
Reply by Rayven Katie,
Hang in there! Yes, failed transfers are very common to IVF in general and in surrogacy. It is unfortunate, but true.
If you followed doctor's orders and took your meds, then there is nothing you personally did wrong, and should not feel guilty. Sometimes its just not in the cards.
If your uterus "looked beautiful" you are most definitely not too old (especially at 33...38+ maybe, but not 33).
Have you talked with the nurse/doctor yet? I assume they told you that the test was negative and to stop meds? (if they did not, DO NOT STOP MEDS until they tell you to do so)
They may want to switch up your meds for the next transfer. The best thing you can do for the next transfer is to not let this setback affect you. Don't get stressed about it, realize you did everything you could have done, and the next time will be better.
Best wishes to you!
Comments for
Failed Surrogacy Transfer- What Went Wrong
this was a wonderful start to my day thank you. this is almost exactly my situation..age...everything. i recently received news of BFN also and it's been so heartbreaking...and the guilt for the IP's is immense even though they are so kind and understanding. this feedback really eased my mind. :)
Mar 07, 2009 Rating
Congratulations! by: Rayven from Information on Surrogacy
I'm so excited for you! Can't wait to hear if it's twins. Here's for a happy, healthy pregnancy and terrific journey.
Best wishes!
Mar 07, 2009 Rating
Great Report by: Katie Felt
Thanks again for all your support. I had my second transfer on Feb. 20th. On March 2nd we found out I was pregnant. Yippee! My hCg was 406. They said it was pretty high and might mean multiples. We will see in a few weeks.
Feb 11, 2009 Rating
Thanks for the Support! by: Anonymous
Thank you! Thank You! Thank You!! I hear so many success stories from surrogates, but no mention of failed tries. I know I am not the only missed try when I look at the statistics. I just hope my guys can "hang in" there with me since their last surrogate had 4 failed tries with them. I appreciate your advice. I am trying to stay calm and pray a lot. I know I have better odds that way. I will let you know what happens. My next transfer is scheduled for Feb. 20. Please pray for us!
Thanks in advance!
Katie
Feb 11, 2009 Rating
Hang in there! by: Anonymous
Just to let you know, I just finished my first surrogacy. I had 2 failed transfers using fresh embryos. On our third try I was really worried that it wouldn't work again. We were a little more aggressive and put in 4 that had been frozen and I ended up delivering 2 beautiful girls last September. So hang in there when it is meant to happen it will.
Jan 30, 2009 Rating
Hang in there! by: Rayven from Information on Surrogacy
I know it's hard, but hang in there and try not to let this set back get to you.
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