Fertile but wanting to Conceive my partners child.

by Genai
(Plainfield New Jersey USA)

Me and my partner have been together for 3 years and she & i want to conceive a child together. She doesn't want to because of her fear of pregnancy, but I am MORE than willing to,. we are BOTH fertile. but is this still considered surrogacy if I choose to have her baby? and will it still be possible since neither of us are infertile?

Reply by Rayven
Genai,

Technically, if we want to examine semantics in your case, no, this would not be a surrogacy. Since you would be carrying your partner's baby with the intention of mothering that child, you are an intended mother (as is your partner) not a surrogate mother. A surrogate mother gives the child back to her real mother. In this case, you ARE the real mother.

But, physically, the process is much the same. Normally, I would caution any woman with a "fear" of pregnancy away from surrogacy. The process of an egg retrieval can be just as terrifying. But in your circumstances, its actually not uncommon for one lesbian partner to carry the biological child of the other partner, infertile or not. But I would take some time to talk with a professional about her fears before embarking on this journey.

You will need to examine the legalities of what you are planning. Not necessarily from a standpoint of surrogacy while neither partner is infertile, but from a same-sex adoption angle. Contact a lawyer that deals with same-sex adoption in your state and go from there. I'm really not sure what laws would apply here.