im in the last couple of weeks of my surrogate pregnancy was it hard to give up the baby im starting to get really scared after the birth
Reply by Rayven Rachel,
Giving a surrogate baby back to his parents is different for every surrogate mother. Some surrogate mothers experience only joy at the baby's birth, as they are excited about the new family they have created.
Others feel a combination of some sadness as well as joy. At the birth, the surrogate's role is done. Many surrogate mothers are the center of attention throughout the pregnancy, but the second that child is born, that attention shifts -permanently- to the baby.
Most women who are surrogates do not experience great feelings of sadness or loss at the birth of the baby; though it does occasionally happen. This is where a good support system comes into play.
Don't be scared; the birth is beautiful, and watching the happiness on the faces of your intended parents is worth it all.
If you feel a little sad, it's OK. Go home and hug your children and it should pass in a few days. Talk to your partner and your support system and be honest about your feelings with them. If for some reason your sadness (if you have any at all) lingers, or becomes overwhelming, talk to your OB/GYN.
For me, giving the baby back to his parents was the best part. I did not experience any sadness whatsoever. I can honestly say for me, it was not hard in the least giving the baby back to his parents.
I delivered twins almost two years ago and not once has a day gone by that I felt giving them back to their parents was difficult. Of course, this is just me.
I delivered via c-section. My IM was quite concerned for my emotions and for my physically. She asked me how I felt about the babies and the whole surrogacy.. my simple answer to her was "I feel as though YOU just gave birth and I just had surgery". I was so detached from the entire process. When the boys were ready to go home, everyone left at once and I had a big cry. All the nurses were concerned for me emotionally and wanted to get a counselor in to talk to me. I wasn't sad about the babies.. I wanted to go home too dangit!
So if you find yourself feeling detached and excited for your IP's, it's normal (or atleast I hope so! LOL) however if you find yourself sad and missing your surrobabe, that's normal too. Just take everything one day at a time. The past 9 mo (atleast, depending on how long it took you to get here) have been all about the surrogacy. When you go home, take time for you and your family to reestablish your lives as just your family! Go on a vacation if you can!
