How do I approach the subject of offering to be a surrogate?
by Samantha
(Kentucky)
I became pregnant with my first child my senior year in high school. My French teacher (who is also the aunt to my best friend of 10 years) was the first person I told about my pregnancy. We bonded over the course of my pregnancy and she shared with me her desire to have children, but her apparent inability to conceive. After I graduated we lost touch until recently. It has been 5 years and she has still not been able to become pregnant. I have often thought of her over the years and prayed for her, because I know that she and her husband would be fantastic parents, and because I have seen how much it hurts her to not be able to have a child. I am now happily married and I have two healthy little boys, but I can't stop thinking about how I want to help her have a child. I don't know if they have even thought about or researched adoption, surrogacy, etc, but I would love to let her know that I would be 100% willing to be a surrogate (for no compensation) if that is something they wished to do. We don't talk often now, and I don't want to go about this the wrong way and turn it into a sad or awkward situation. Any advice?
Reply by Rayven
Since this isn't your relative directly, and you have not had close contact throughout the years, I would suggest going through your best friend to see if your former teacher was interested. Tell your friend your feelings, and ask her to find out if her aunt has considered surrogacy, and if not, ask your friend how best to approach it.
It could be that they are actively looking for a surrogate mother as we speak, but it could also be that they have put having children behind them and you suddenly showing up could open up uncomfortable feelings.
In this situation, I would have your friend assist you.
