i'm a new single healthy 35y gay male thinking bout surrogarcy?

by malik
(bronx ny usa)

i'm thinking about dealing with the surrogate privatly rather then a agency which can be expensive but will of cuorse have legal counsel & by the way could you refer any low cost practocal legal c ounsel .?i also have pre-paid legal that i can use as wellbut i'm determined to fullfill my quest for a healthy baby i got 3 surrogate to choose from so i'm tryint to debate which one i'll go with?any suggestions?i'm also trying to calculate the co$t involved ?but i'm sure when theres a will theres a way ???? can you offer any adice for me inmy situation what venues to take should i go a agency if so are there any not so $$agenncy most have lots of rules but anyways get bac with any fyi??

Reply by Rayven

Malik,

Congratulations on considering surrogacy.

I can offer no legal council recommendations; you will need to find an attorney who specializes in surrogacy in the state in which the baby will be born. Do not even think about using your pre-paid legal services. Surrogacy is unique, and needs a dedicated attorney familiar with the laws in your area. Plan to spend several thousand dollars on both your attorney, and your surrogate mother's attorney.

As far as whether to go through an agency or not, the main reason most intended parents choose an agency is to facilitate the matching process. It sounds as if you are OK there since you have three surrogate mothers to choose from. I cannot help you make a decision on which of those surrogates to choose; you are on your own there.

If none of your potential surrogate mothers are experienced in the process, and you are concerned about your limited knowledge in surrogacy, many agencies will work with already matched intended parents/surrogates for a discounted fee. They can handle payments and escrow, schedule appointments, and act as a mediator if things don't go smoothly in your journey.

The costs of your journey are going to be determined by several factors. First, is this a traditional surrogacy or a gestational surrogacy? The added cost of an IVF transfer and egg donation will push a gestational surrogacy to the $50k+ mark, all things considered. And don't ignore that little "+". Costs can add on very fast.

Though it's great to be optimistic about being able to afford surrogacy, you do need to come up with a clear plan, in advance on how you are going to be able to make it all work. Most of these fees (agency, lawyer, egg donor, IVF, insurance, and escrow surrogate fee) are do en mass, at the start of your journey. So you need to have the resources NOW to pay for it. If you don't, you'll need to wait until you do.

Best wishes!