Is there any way to be a surrogate mother if you have no children of your own?

by Shannon Carter
(Scranton pa)

I really want to have a child for another couple. I feel it's a calling and I want to do it for all the right reasons. Why can't I find a way to do this?

Reply by Rayven

Shannon,
While your thoughts and intentions are very sweet, there are legitimate reasons why this is completely impossible.

First, let's talk about you.

It is a very bad idea for any woman who has not completed her own family (notice, I said completed, not just had kids) to become a surrogate mother. There are risks in surrogacy, probably more risks in surrogacy than in a typical pregnancy due to the higher risk of multiples.

Suppose while helping another couple, you had an emergency procedure and lost your uterus. It happens. Then you yourself would someday need a surrogate mother to have a baby.

And since you do not have a child of your own, can you really know what feelings you will have at the birth of that child? Post pardum depression does happen with some surrogates, but they are comforted with the fact that they have the ability to go home and hug their own children.


Now, let's talk about potential intended parents that would use you as their surrogate.

Surrogacy is extremely expensive. Many intended parents save for years, decades even, to be able to afford just one journey. Some will only be able to afford one journey.

What if, you yourself are infertile? What if you end up with miscarriage after miscarriage? What if you experience complications and pre-term labor?

You may scoff at this scenario, but the truth is, infertility and pregnancy related complications are very very common in this country (which is why so many are in need of a surrogate mother).

Your intended parents could spend every last dime they have, with no option of trying again, just to find out that you are in the same boat they are.

Again, while the thought is nice, you need to wait until you are "proven"....until it is verified that you, yourself, are able to have children.

Best wishes.