I reviewed a regulations page for surrogacy. I am a single mother to a very healthy 1 year old boy (father unknown). Why on EARTH am I not eligible to be a surrogate? Its driving me insane! Me and my son are stable and very happy. Just because I am not married or do not rely on having a man in my life disqualifies me from helping someones dreams come true? I was able to do it for myself, but an't help share my gift?? This makes absolutely no sense. I have been alone raising my child Just Fine, and had absolutely No problems during the pregnancy mentally. I have a great support system of family and friends. I feel offended that I apparently need a man on my arm to be able to help others. Thats completely ridiculous and almost sexist! Someone please educate me on this! Its not my fault nobody wants to commit to me!
Reply by Rayven
Kristen,
In the United States, being in a committed relationship is not a requirement of becoming a surrogate mother, though it certainly helps from the viewpoint that if a surrogate mother is in a committed relationship, and not engaging in "risky sexual behaviour", then there is less chance of picking up a STD while pregnant with the intended parents' child.
I have no idea if these regulations are different in Canada.
Many, many surrogate mothers are single, with a strong support system in place. If you have found this to be a rule with an agency, simply look for another one or match independently.
Thank you!NEW by: Emilyn from Information on Surrogacy
Your post will help other surrogate mothers and intended parents.Thank you for your contribution.Make sure you register on our free surrogacy network so we can follow your journey!
Jun 07, 2010 Rating
regulatons in england by: kimberley dickinson
hi i live in england and wondered if this regulation is the same for the uk as i am intrested in becoming a surrogate mother?
May 12, 2010 Rating
interested by: patricia sweigart
I am interested in becoming a surrogate for anyone thats wants to have a chil but not thru an agency which charges way too much money to the prospective parents or parent. Just because someone is a single mom does not disqualify them. I raised my 13 yr old son by myself and want to go back to school and want to use the money to do so. my number is **CONTACT INFORMATION REMOVED**
I too am a single mother, by choice, of 2 wonderful children. Both has different fathers. I am working with a consultant and have been matched and am currently pregnant with a surro babe! I am shocked that you are not able to become a surrogate mother, based on your single status!
If you are going into your journey as an indy. not with a consultant, this MAY be what it putting a halt to your journey. I looked on my own as an indy. surrogate for quite awhile before deciding that this was too important to give up on. I would get emails, and phone calls, would spend time getting to know the IPs, and even had a great connection with one set of IPs, until they back out just before transfer.
Having said this, I also know many surrogates how have had wonderful indy journeys.
I chose a consultant as, eventhough I have an aweseom support metwork of my own, she offered so much more. I am involved very atively in her surrogate suport group and would reccomend her to anyone!
Since becoming a surrogate, the first in my town, there are now 5 of us and we are all working with her.
The best of luck to you!
May 08, 2010 Rating
Few hard and fast rules by: Rayven from Stay a Stay at Home Mom
Surrogacy is so very interesting in that there are very few rules "set in stone". Being a single mother and a surrogate mothers is not one of those rules.
Look around. You should be able to still do it.
May 08, 2010 Rating
Thank You by: Kristen
Well Thank you for leaving me some hope! Or at least women like me, who want to help! I am in Canada so maybe our rules are different, but you bringing the potential STD risk to the table sure makes alot of sense, and without you, I would have never even considered or thought of that! Thanks!
I have heard of people doing it privately so maybe thats another option but so far Im just merely looking for more information. You helped me at least get one step in the right direction with some knowledge! I believe everyone deserves the chance at having a family is all. I didn't choose mine, or have it planned out and it was still the best thing to happen to me, so I can only imagine the happiness someone gets when they find a match and have what they wanted so desperately. I can only imagine.. I hope that I will get the chance to share such a moment with a family one day. to cry happy tears along with someone I know deserves such a blessing. I still have many improvements to make before I can commit to a family like that, but if its not worth the effort, I dont know what is!
Surrogacy was the best thing anyone has ever come up with next to adoption! And the regulations for that is even more crazy!!
Thanks again. I really appreciate any education I can get because this is something, since having my own child, I feel very strongly towards. PLus, I personally loved being pregnant.. Ive heard so many women say they hated it, and yes child birth is pretty painful, but its a great experience, and if I could afford muliple children, id be selfish and have lots. But i can't on my own, so if anything, I'd just like to win- win by going through it again, but blessing someone else with the life long responsibility haha.
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