Should I be a Surrogate for my brother in laws wife?

by Raelyn Martinez
(Uvalde & S.A, TX, U.S.)

Hi I'm currently 19 years old and I just recently gave birth to a 8lb 4oz healthy baby boy in June 2009 and about a month later my brother in law announce that he was going to get married but they had just found out that she was pregnant so they were going to wait till they had the baby and then go on with getting married. My soon to be sister in law was very excited that she was pregnant, but she warned us that she had 3 previous miscarriages. So months passed by and we thought everything was going great with the pregnancy,the week before she had a doctors appt she had been having back pains and she just ignored it up until the day before she was going to find out what she was having her water broke early in the morning so she went to the hospital and she found out that the back pains were her contractions and so they took her in and got her on medicine to stop the contractions and but they wouldn't stop so she had to go in and have the baby at 18 wks and it only survived for 1 hour. After hearing about it I felt terribly sad, so I did some research and I came along this site and I just want to know how can I approach her about me wanting to have a Gestational Surrogacy for her. I would love to give her the gift of a child because I think every women deserves to have a baby of their own.

Reply by Rayven

Raelyn,

Right now, your brother in law and his wife need to consult with doctors to try and see what is causing her difficulties. It could be any number of things. It might be that they would be better off trying IVF themselves, and using an egg donor. It might be that she cannot carry. It might just be a string of bad luck. But let them figure it out.

You really need to be at least 21 and completely done having your own children before you become a surrogate mother for anyone, even family. You could throw the idea out there, and then, in a few years time, if they find that they are indeed in need of a surrogate, you could volunteer.

There's a lot going on in their lives right now. What a wonderful sister you are to be thinking of doing something so special for them.

Best wishes!