Simple Surrogacy Guide

Getting Started in 6 Easy Steps

Use this simple surrogacy guide to get started in commercial surrogacy. Whether you are interested in how to become a surrogate mother or you are looking to find a surrogate mother, the steps to surrogate motherhood are relatively the same.

How to use this guide: follow the steps outlined below if you are new to surrogacy or just need a step-by-step outline to get organized. Depending on where you are at with your surrogate motherhood journey, you may have already done one or more of these steps. Pick up where you have left off.

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Simple Surrogacy Guide Quick Links

Step 1: Research Step 2: Support Step 3: Matching

Step 4: Legal & Clinic Step 5: Testing Step 6: Pregnancy

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Simple Surrogacy Guide: Step 1: Research

The most important thing you can possibly do to prepare for a surrogate motherhood journey is research. This critical first step, when ignored, can lead to massive problems during your journey and beyond.

Those who do not do proper research on commercial surrogacy may find they are put into uncomfortable (and avoidable) situations or may find that they should never have entered into surrogacy in the first place.

Lucky for you, this website exists!

Everything you need to get a firm understanding of how the surrogate motherhood works is right here!

It doesn't matter if you are an intended parent interested in finding a surrogate mother, or you are looking for information on how to become a surrogate mother.

Here's what you do: start at the top of the navigation bar on the left, where you see the words "About Surrogacy". Click on this link. This page links to several more pages about commercial surrogacy, click on each page and read.

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Then, once you are finished with all the pages on the "About Surrogacy" tab, move onto the "Gestational Surrogacy" tab.

Go through all the pages there, and so on, until you end up with the final tab on the navigation menu.

You'll learn a lot by going through this website, which is dedicated to provide free information on surrogacy to all surrogate mothers and intended parents.

If you would prefer one single guide to surrogacy, in ebook format, I would encourage you to check out the ebook written by the author of this website,

How to Become a Gestational Surrogate Mother:
A Step-by-Step Guide from Decision to Delivery.

You would be able to print the ebook for easy reading.

After reading through the website and/or ebook, if you have further questions that haven't been answered for you, please come to the Ask a Surrogate forum where your question will be answered.

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Simple Surrogacy Guide: Step 2: Support

After doing your research, the next step is to get your support team in order. First, most importantly, you need to make sure that your spouse (or partner) is 100% on-board with your decision of surrogate motherhood.

While this statement is obvious for intended parents, even if you are just interested in how to become a surrogate mother, your spouse needs to be on board.

If your spouse is not sure, uninterested, or against surrogacy, then surrogate motherhood may not be what is best for you.

In addition to your spouse's support, now is the time to tell your close friends and family, and see how they feel about your commercial surrogacy decision.

You may encounter those who are against surrogacy, but its better to practice these conversations now, and listen to their point of view before you actually get started.

If you have a spouse who is 100% on-board, any negative feelings other close friends or family express shouldn't stop you from surrogacy if you feel it is right.

This is also the time in the process to sit down with your spouse and discuss all the surrogacy issues that could happen; selective reduction, abortion for genetic defects, the possibility of getting a surrogate or intended parents who are suddenly unreasonable, the possibility of unsuccessful surrogacy, how many embryos you should transfer, and what compensation you would like to pay/receive among other things.

Figure out these issues well in advance of Step 3.

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Simple Surrogacy Guide: Step 3: Matching

Congratulations! If you have completed Step 1 and Step 2, its now time to find your perfect match!

If you haven't completed Step 1 and Step 2, do that now.

Matching without having done your research or gotten your support team set up is foolish.

Now its time to decide if you will be using a commercial surrogacy agency, or you plan an independent surrogacy match.

It might be best to re-read the Matching section at this time.

Place an ad on our Surrogacy Classifieds board, and take your time! You've done your research so you know how important it is to get to know your surrogate mother or intended parents before moving onto the next step.

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Simple Surrogacy Guide: Step 4: Legal & Clinic

Parts of this next step can be done simultaneously with Step 3. There are two parts to Step 4: Legal and Clinic.

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Legal
The first part, Legal, references both finding the best surrogacy attorney and formulating and signing a contract.

Regardless of if you are the intended parents or the surrogate mother, you need to have your own attorney.

Commercial surrogacy, whether it is with those you have met during your surrogate motherhood journey or friends you have known for a long time, requires both parties to obtain separate legal council.

All surrogacy arrangements, even those between siblings, need to have a legal contract in place.

This is above and beyond anything else to protect the baby and allow the proper parents to be named in the court system. Get a lawyer and do things write.


Clinic
The intended parents are the decision makers when it comes to choosing an infertility clinic. This is often done in advance of even considering surrogacy, but if a clinic has not yet been chosen, it needs to be now, actually before contracts are signed.

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Simple Surrogacy Guide: Step 5: Testing

Generally after the contracts are signed testing is done on the surrogate mother and her spouse. Some intended parents, clinics, agencies, or lawyers would like this completed before the contracts are signed, and that is fine, so long as there is a notarized, legal form stating that the intended parents are responsible for the costs (outside of the surrogate mother's heath insurance coverage) of these tests.

How to become a surrogate: if you are in a situation where testing is required before signing a contract, make sure you have it in writing that the intended parents are responsible for these fees. If a falling out occurs before the contracts are signed, you may end up paying hundreds, even thousands of dollars out of pocket without it.

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Simple Surrogacy Guide: Step 6: Pregnancy

You know what you're doing. Your spouse is behind you. You've gone through matching, and contracts, and testing. Now it's time to get pregnant!

Congratulations on your surrogate motherhood journey. May you be blessed with healthy children!

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More About Surrogacy

Definition of Surrogacy Terms and Acronyms
Gestational Surrogate Mothers
Traditional Surrogate Mothers
Altruistic Surrogacy
Ethics of Surrogacy: Adoption
Ethics of Surrogacy: Excess of the Rich
Ethics of Surrogacy: Exploitation

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