What about the couples who do not have tons of money?

by Kim
(Ohio)

Aren't there women out there willing to conceive and carry a child for a couple who cannot have children of their own just out of the goodness of their heart? Yes, it would be a big sacrifice. But with those of us with no other choice, what else can we do?

Reply by Rayven

Yes, there are women out there who are willing to become a surrogate mother without any compensation whatsoever. The best way to find these women is to look within your own family and extremely close circle of friends.

A woman who is willing to sacrifice that much for a total stranger, without any compensation, is very difficult to find.

But you have to understand that while a surrogate's fee does add considerably to the cost of a surrogacy, it is not the only cost associated with surrogacy. Legal fees and medical costs can be just as great. Even a surrogate who is not receiving any compensation at all will need to have her medical costs and any other out-of-pocket expenses reimbursed...she should not have to pay money to help another couple.

Surrogacy is expensive, and unfortunately, is not for everyone because of this.

Here are a few ideas on gaining/saving money on surrogacy:

1. Have a family member or close friend become a surrogate without compensation

2. Do not hire an agency; do everything independently

3. Consider becoming an egg donor if you have viable eggs. Doing this 2-3 times may pay for the cost of a surrogacy

4. Plan for a surrogacy now, even if you will not be financially able to pay for it for a few years. Put aside money each month, drive less-expensive vehicles for more years, cut out vacations, and reduce your expenses as much as you can. Put every saved cent into your surrogacy fund. Tell family and friends that instead of gifts, small cash contributions to the fund will be more appreciated for holidays.

5. Plan for a surrogacy in 2-3 years. Start a home based business now with the intent of helping pay surrogacy costs a few years into the future (this could also help you become a stay home parent, if that is something you are interested in)

6. Sell off unwanted possessions on Craigslist and eBay. Add to your fund.

Obviously not every intended parent is going to be able to do all these things, but hopefully it will give you some ideas.

One caution: when considering which surrogacy expenses to eliminate (like agency fees) do NOT consider going without an attorney. That is one cost you will need to keep. If your attorney charges by the hour, present him with all your contract issues well thought out and up front, to save you both time.

I hope this helps.

Best wishes.