What if the IPs want to terminate?

by Samantha
(MS)

I am in the process of becoming a surrogate, and have run my tests, and gotten applications done and looking for a match. I have a question that keeps bothering me. What if I become pregnant with multiples, or the baby has downs syndrome or something like that and the parents WANT to medically reduce or terminate the pregnancy and I don't? I completely understand that this is not my child, but unless it is medically warranted I do not want to have an abortion.

Reply by Rayven

Samantha,

This is an excellent question and one I wish more potential surrogate mothers would consider before the matching phase. I applaud you for realizing that selective reduction or abortion might be an issue with a surrogate pregnancy.

The truth of the matter is, you need to find out how you feel about these issues, which you have done, and match with a set of intended parents that feel 100% the same way. This is something very important to you. MAKE SURE your intended parents are on the same page, and make sure your contract states that you will not reduce/abort unless your life is in danger. Make sure it doesn't say unless medically recommended, as many doctors will recommend reducing triplets or quadruplets to twins.

Having said all this, some agencies will try to bully you into believing that you must agree to reduce/abort in order to be a surrogate. This is not true. You simply need to find parents that feel the same way, and they are absolutely out there. If an agency tries to tell you this, simply walk away and find another or go independent.

Also, let's be very clear here. You, as the medical patient, have 100% control over your own body. You will never, under any circumstances, be forced to reduce or abort a child within your own body by someone else. But, if your contract says you will agree to reduce/abort upon the parents' desires, you may face financial consequences. So again, make sure this is all clear in your contract. Your attorney will help you.

Finally, there is one great way to prevent selective reduction. Don't put more embryos in than you are willing to carry. If twins is your limit, don't transfer more than two. Case in point, every embryo ever transferred into me has resulted in a healthy, full-term baby. Now, of course, there is always the risk of an embryo splitting, but it is not nearly as high as the risk of all the embryos taking. So limit yourself to 1, 2, or 3. And again, discuss this during the contract phase of matching. I have worked with two sets of intended parents who only wanted to transfer one at a time.

Best wishes to you! Sounds like you are really doing your research which is so very important at this stage!